Quail For Vice-President

A [quail] shot by a random [man] this weekend suffered a heart attack today.

The [man] shot and critically injured the [quail] while hunting [Iraqis] in Corpus Christi.

"Some of the birdshot appears lodged near the [quails] heart" a hospital spokesman reported at a press conference.

The [quail] has over 200 [pellets] in its body.

The [man's family] had refused to release the news for a day in an attempt to [keep the matter private].

The [quail] will be kept in intensive care in order to make sure that [the pellets don't cause any further harm].

======

And now...

Swap [quail] for [A man! A human being you sick Texas fuck with no care for the safety of man or beast!! Keep your gun razed and stop thinking about killing things! Don't EVER take a swinging snap shot at ground level you blood thirsty beast!!!!]

Swap [man] for [Vice President Dick Cheney/the power behind the thrown/horrible little bald man] (ok, I know it doesn't quite scan with all the articles, but hey)

Swap [Iraqis] for [poor bloody innocent quails].

Swap [Pellets] for [lumps of metal]

Swap [man's family] for [White House].

Swap [keep the matter private] for [stop any bad publicity coming out and generally trying to spin things as well as hoping the man is fine so that no one will know the truth].

Swap [the pellets don't cause any further harm] for [well, that he lives I suppose. Those doctors and nurses tend to be nice sorts. I bet our man Dick is really hoping that they do a good job].

Contributed by Dan Rees Lewis
15th of February 2006
Comment Politics Humour